Reasons
by TheLostMaximoff
Summary: Set during 'Ascension'. While on the plane to Mexico, Lance ponders the Brotherhood's place in the fight against Apocalypse.


**Reasons**

By TheLostMaximoff

Disclaimer: Don't own these people.  It occurs to me that I haven't done anything involving Lance's POV which is strange because I really do like him.

            It's funny how we can get so caught up in things.  Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder how my life got so screwed up.  It all just seems so surreal.  I never imagined myself hooking up with the Brotherhood or fighting the X-Men or any of this.  I couldn't have imagined it even if I tried.

            I stare down at the ground below from the window of the jet we stole.  Everything looks so small and insignificant.  Kinda like us I guess.  We don't belong here.  This is something that should never be our responsibility, our problem.  I mean who counts on a bunch of kids to save the world?  Who rests the fate of the human race on the shoulders of children?  No one that's who, at least no one with half a brain.

            Why am I here?  I've asked that question too many times.  Back home it was real simple, too simple.  All I had to do was look out for myself, for number one.  Everything was all about me and I really couldn't have cared less about anyone.  I never thought to question what I was doing.  I was out to beat the system, the world, the Man.  I was a rebel, a loose cannon, a revolutionary in my own mind.  Then I met her and everything I knew crumbled to dust and was swept away on the wind.  For the first time I actually started to wonder if maybe there was something better out there for kids like me.

            Sometimes I wonder how radically different my life would be if I had decided not to tag lockers on that day.  I could've participated in any antisocial activity but I guess it was some kind of fate that threw me together with the girl who could walk through walls, the girl who would irrevocably change who I am forever.

            I look over to the rest of the guys.  Why are they here?  Why are we all here?  To die for a dream, to march into the fire as martyrs for a million people that hate our guts?  No, not us.  We're not heroes, probably never will be.  We're just selfish, immature, directionless delinquents who got mixed up with the wrong people.  We're not soldiers and this is definitely not our war.  So why are we about to stare Death in the face and hope that it flinches first?

            I watch as Toad and Freddy fight over the map.  Todd's so hyperactive about all this.  He's scared out of his mind not because he may not come back from this but because Wanda might get hurt.  He knows out of all of us he can help the least but he's still here.  Wanda could blow him to hell and back and he'd still die to save her.  He's here for her.  I never knew the little frog had it in him.

            Freddy's got no personal stake in this which makes me wonder more than anything why he's along with us for the ride, what could be the last ride for him.  Sure he's invulnerable and immovable but we're going up against Apocalypse, the guy's practically a god.  I'm sure he'd find someway to kill the Blob if he thought about it hard enough.  And yet Freddy's still here with us because we're his friends and if we're going to die then we're going to die together.  None of us, least of all him, ever had any real friends till we had each other.  He's here to protect us, all of us.  You wouldn't guess it but the loyalty's in there behind all that fat.

            Pietro's been jittery too but what else is new?  Why we let him fly the plane is a question I'll never know the answer to.  Oh yeah, he's the leader.  I stare at him and wonder if he has any clue what he's doing.  It's hard to tell what goes on at a thousand miles a second behind that face of his.  He has to be worried about Wanda even if he'd never let it show.  I wonder what it's like to have a family even if it's a screwed up one like his.  I've had a dozen "families" before.  I was in and out of so many "homes" I learned that caring about yourself is the only way to keep from getting hurt again.  I think Pietro learned that lesson almost as hard as I did but since Wanda came to live with us he's been different.  I guess we've all changed since this whole mess began.  He's here because he failed her the first time and he won't let it happen again.  I never would've thought he'd ever care about anybody enough to do all this.

            So why am I here?  Because I care.  I care about Todd and Freddy and Pietro and Wanda.  I must because I wouldn't have kept us glued together this long if I didn't.  It's the hardest thing in the world to keep everyone else's weight on your shoulders.  I look at Pietro again, our leader in his own mind.  He wants the job so badly, I feel sorry for not telling him how hard it is.  He'll make a good leader someday though, I can tell.  He's a take-charge kinda guy and if all this proves anything it's that he learns from his mistakes.  I'm sure that if he'd drop the ego once and awhile he'd tell me I'd be a good leader too.  I kept us alive this long, I must be doing something right for once.  I'm here because I care about all of them.  They're my friends, my family.

            There's something else I care about, someone.  It's stupid when I think about it.  It doesn't make any sense that I, a self-centered punk, would give up living to make sure one person could continue doing it.  Todd's not the only one who would die for someone he loves.  I swear to God right here on this hunk of steel suspended in the air that if anything's happened to Kitty I'll break the entire world in half.  If anyone's hurt her I'll bury them alive.

            I stare down again at the world below us.  So small.  This whole thing started small.  It was just a stupid little game, a rivalry between us and Summers' nerd squad.  We push their buttons, pick a fight, they win, we go home angry, repeat the process.  Then everything seemed to snowball, to spiral out of control and now here we are counted among the last hope of the world.  We started out as selfish kids and now we're ready to die for something, for someone.

            Why are we here?  We're not soldiers, not martyrs.  This isn't because any of us believe that humanity will cut mutants a break if we do this or that someday we'll all hold hands and sing We Are The World or any of that other bullshit.  We're the Brotherhood.  We don't die for ideals, we die for people.  The fact that we care about someone that much proves that the situation isn't the only thing that's snowballed since we became friends.  We're all bigger people now than anyone could imagine or admit to.  It's not because of some dream that may or may not come true but because we fight for people we love.  That's why we're here.

            The ground grows in size quickly as we descend.  It mirrors our lives, the entire situation we've been thrown into.  We may be small and not matter to anyone but we're still here.  It doesn't take a huge boulder to start an avalanche, I've learned that.  Sometimes the movement of a tiny little rock can do the trick.  We're here, four little rocks caught in a landslide.  We can't stop it but we can hang on and make sure we all get through this in one piece.  It's funny how just one simple rock can cause something big.  It's funny how just one girl can change a person so much.  I don't know if the reasons we're here are good enough but they're our reasons and that's all that matters.


End file.
